An old man without name


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An honest smile are pointed in the heat of the sun that afternoon.  A rumpled hat perched on his head. The hat was always same everyday with hair that almost all of it turned into white. Sober clothes, deep wrinkles on face, and a backless white sandal held to the foot by a dark red thong between the big toe and the second toe. I didn’t know why everytime I saw him I felt amazed. Honestly, when laziness took over my frail body, I started to come here, a minimarket at a crossroads, and then I saw him deeply without he knew. A sequence of prayers suddently arrived,

Dear God, please gave me his little spirit, made me feel ashamed, and if necessary, made me feel very very ashamed when the words : bored, tired, lazy, no longer in the mood attacked me.

“There is no money, Miss, you can transfer, but you can’t withdraw money in that Automated Teller Machine  (ATM)”, an old man reminded me.

“Oh really, sir? Thanks before,” I said to him while gave him two thousand rupiah as parking charge, “well.. this is for you, sir.”

“Oh, you don’t have to, Miss. You didn’t even go inside, did you?”

I smiled to myself thinking of what happened three days ago when my coin was refused by an old man who was familiar with me. But today was empty, the old man wasn’t here. My eyes swept around in all directions, but I couldn’t find his smiley face.

Where was he?

Either he would take my money or not, I finally decided to put that coin, two thousand rupiah above the small chair where the old man usually sat.

And then I told myself, “This is the parking charge, sir.”

Note :

Pernah ditulis dalam versi Indonesia di akun blogger.com milik Cinta dengan nama akun berbeda klik di sini. Minta maaf bila banyak kesalahan. Vocabulary : Idiom, Collocation (baru belajar nyampai situ doang ), Writing : Order of Cumulative Adjective ( masih ngaco ), Grammar : Tenses in English ( ah ini apalagi, masih semrawut pasti! ^__^> ). Mohon koreksi, namun mohon jangan pedas-pedas yah kalau comment, namanya juga lagi belajar, hihihi. *alasan klasik

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51 thoughts on “An old man without name

      1. Wkwkwk, kalau pake google translate banyak kesalahan mas biasanya. Belajarnya pake Internet aja, biasanya untuk menulis itu yang diperlukan Tenses ( browsing ); penyusunan kata sifat ( order of cumulative adjectives, browsing ada koq ); article a, an, the; penggunaan who, whose, whom, which, that ( ini browsing juga bnyak ); verb V1-V2-V3 ( browsing ada mas ); Collocation dan idiom ( ini bisa pakai kamus Cambridge online ).
        Rumusnya itu aja mas, ayooo dicoba ^__^

        Disukai oleh 1 orang

      2. Iya… makasih cinta… lebih mantep lagi kamusnya pake kamus yang ditulis oleh John M. Echols dan Hassan Shadily… kosa katanya njlimet dan jelas banget… Cinta dah punya kamusnya belum?

        Disukai oleh 1 orang

      3. msa mas?
        Koq kalo dosen Cinta prefer ke Oxford Dictionary atau Cambridge Dictionary mas…utk kamus Collocation juga mintanya yang Oxford…apa yang itu lbh bagus ya mas? Apa gimana?

        Suka

    1. Hihihi iya smoga mas Hilal, bapak itu kaget akhirnya trsenyum krn lain hr pas Cinta ktmu lg Cinta bilang gini…”pak pokoknya kalau bapak lagi ga ada, biasanya Cinta taruh uang parkirnya di atas kursi ya pak, kalau ada uang disitu itu brrt dr Cinta krn td masuk ke minimarket ada bapak tp pas keluar bapak udah ga ada”
      Eh si bapak snyum trs blg, “iya neng, makasih ya.” 😊

      Wadoooh mas Hilal jgn bgtu, Cinta lg tahap belajar ms. Pngin berani nulis aja sambil belajar.

      Suka

  1. Uh … kurasa penulisan tanda kurung nggak perlu dikasih spasi sebelum atau sesudahnya kok kak. Lalu untuk dialog terakhir yang berkata pada diri sendiri, huruf depan dialognya seharusnya besar. Grammar dan vocab aku juga masih banyak belajar, jadi nggak mau terlalu kritis dulu ehe. Keep writing ^^

    Disukai oleh 1 orang

    1. Hmmm gmn ya?
      Bnyakin baca2 aja. Kalo utk novel atau cerpen bntuknya hrs lampau / past tense. Kl utk artikel lbh mudah krn bs bntuk skr / present tense.
      Coba nonton film barat dg subtitle Inggris jg, bs sngt membantu. Coba tmnan sm yg jago Inggris trs cb mnta tlg agar sesekali bhsa chatt atau sms atau pas ktmuan pke bhsa Inggris. Cinta pernah nerapin yg ini, asli bs nambah kosakata jg, kdg2 diem lama kl pas bingung lg jln brdua trs mau ngomong apa…akhrnya kl bingung biasanya Cinta ngomong gni dlu..”mmm what is that? What I call it? Sorry, I forget to say that word in English… *org2 di sekeliling agak bingung tp lama2 pede jg koq, cuek aja gtu org ga knal, yg pntg kan belajar hehe. Pokoknya modal cuek mah kl mau belajar….

      Tp skali lg Cinta jg msh belajar…msh bnyak kurangnya koq hihi 😊

      Disukai oleh 1 orang

      1. Bang Ical…2mnt udah bikin Cinta baper…ih novelnya seru! Pdahal baru smpe hal 9, tapi udah kerasa bapernya. Ah, apalagi Malang, Cinta kan jg ada rencana ke Malang bulan Desember nanti hihi. Jd lbh tahu gegara novelnya bang Ical hihi 😊

        Disukai oleh 1 orang

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